Stages of Life

Ecclesiastes 3 (New King James Version)
Everything Has Its Time
1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.

This morning I looked back at one of the theories on human development learned early in life. When I was in school Erickson’s theory of human development made a lot of sense to me and was the one I chose to use most often in my work.

I had survived and successfully completed five of his eight stages. I had the ability to trust, a great sense of autonomy, I was not prone to excessive guilt, I was purposeful and industrious and was privileged to have a capacity for affiliation and Love.

1. Infancy: Birth to 18 Months
Ego Development Outcome: Trust vs. Mistrust
Basic strength: Drive and Hope
2. Early Childhood: 18 Months to 3 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Autonomy vs. Shame
Basic Strengths: Self-control, Courage, and Will
3. Play Age: 3 to 5 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Initiative vs. Guilt
Basic Strength: Purpose
4. School Age: 6 to 12 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Industry vs. Inferiority
Basic Strengths: Method and Competence
5. Adolescence: 12 to 18 Years
Ego Development Outcome: Identity vs. Role Confusion
Basic Strengths: Devotion and Fidelity
6. Young adulthood: 18 to 35
Ego Development Outcome: Intimacy and Solidarity vs. Isolation
Basic Strengths: Affiliation and Love

I considered myself a complete human being.
Then something strange happened. I developed this un-named, unidentifiable hunger. It took a while to figure out that this was a hunger for a relationship with God, a hunger for knowledge, a hunger for His love and peace.

7. Middle Adulthood: 35 to 55 or 65
Ego Development Outcome: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation
Basic Strengths: Production and Care
8. Late Adulthood: 55 or 65 to Death
Ego Development Outcome: Integrity vs. Despair
Basic Strengths: Wisdom

“Erikson felt that much of life is preparing for the middle adulthood stage and the last stage is recovering from it. Perhaps that is because as older adults we can often look back on our lives with happiness and are content, feeling fulfilled with a deep sense that life has meaning and we've made a contribution to life, a feeling Erikson calls integrity. Our strength comes from a wisdom that the world is very large and we now have a detached concern for the whole of life, accepting death as the completion of life.
On the other hand, some adults may reach this stage and despair at their experiences and perceived failures. They may fear death as they struggle to find a purpose to their lives, wondering "Was the trip worth it?" Alternatively, they may feel they have all the answers (not unlike going back to adolescence) and end with a strong dogmatism that only their view has been correct.” Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT, http://www.learningplaceonline.com/stages/organize/Erikson.htm

Ms Harder felt that a successful entry into the eighth and last stage was “accepting death as the completion of life”. Perhaps this is the reason so many people have such a hard time accepting the inevitability of death.
Erickson felt that anyone who had succeeded in the previous seven stages would be comfortable with the prospect of death because they were no longer struggling to find a purpose for their lives.

God has given me more than 37,000,000 minutes on this earth. Some have been good, some not so good. Some have been spent wisely, some wasted. But I thank God that in His grace and mercy He saw fit to bring me into the fold of His family. I thank God that my sense of integrity is founded on service in His kingdom and not earthly pursuits. I thank God.

Ms Harder’s writings are dated 2004-2009. I don’t know her personally, but I hope she has come to the understanding that death is far from the completion of life for those with a relationship with Jesus Christ. I hope she has come to that great wisdom which is found in the Word of God. I hope she has experienced the Peace of God.

May God Forever Be a Blessing in Your Life!!!