Learning to Love

1 John 3:23New King James Version (NKJV)

23 And this is His commandment: that we should believe on the name of His Son Jesus Christ and love one another, as He gave us commandment.

I struggled for months to find love in my heart for someone who had hurt me deeply. I avoided contact with the person because I was truly ashamed of my inability to love this person as commanded by my Lord and Savior and I was afraid that my words, behavior or demeanor would poorly represent my Lord and Savior.

I moved quickly past the point where I was angry and even vengeful towards this person, but I seemed stuck in a position of stroking my wounded spirit. It was fairly easy to stop wishing them distress, but seemed impossible to truly wish them well.

I asked the Holy Spirit, in prayer, to help me to move beyond this stalemate because it prevented spiritual fulfillment and just felt wrong.

Luke 6:32-36New King James Version (NKJV)
32 “But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.                                                                                                    33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.                                                                                                          34 And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back.                                       35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil.                                                                                                           36 Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

This morning I was led to revisit some of the definitions of “Love” and to seek a better understanding of what it was that I was praying for.

I found the following definitions at http://typesoflove.org/four-types-of-love-greek-style/; and, through study felt a great weight lift from my heart.

  

Agape

This is an unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accepts the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings or faults. It’s the type of love that everyone strives to have for their fellow human beings.                                    Although you may not like someone, you decide to love them just as a human being. This kind of love is all about sacrifice as well as giving and expecting nothing in return.      The translation of the word agape is love in the verb – form: it is the love demonstrated by your behavior towards another person. It is a committed and chosen love.

Phileo

The phileo love refers to an affectionate, warm and tender platonic love. It makes you desire friendship with someone. It’s the kind of love which livens up the Agape love. Although you may have an agape love for your enemies, you may not have a phileo love for the same people.                                                                                                          The translation of the word phileo is love in the noun – form: it is how you feel about someone. It is a committed and chosen love.

Storge

It is a kind of family and friendship love. This is the love that parents naturally feel for their children; the love that member of the family have for each other; or the love that friends feel for each other.                                                                                                   In some cases, this friendship love may turn into a romantic relationship, and the couple in such a relationship becomes best friends. Storge love is unconditional, accepts flaws or faults and ultimately drives you to forgive. It’s committed, sacrificial and makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe.

Eros

Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings; it is the kind that often triggers “high” feelings in a new relationship and makes you say, “I love him/her”. It is simply an emotional and sexual love. Although this romantic love is important in the beginning of a new relationship, it may not last unless it moves a notch higher because it focuses more on self instead of the other person. If the person “in love” does not feel good about their relationship anymore, they will stop loving their partner.

I am convinced that it is Agape Love which is demanded of me. It is love which wishes well, provides a willingness to help if needed and truly expects nothing in return, not even good will.

WOW! I can do this. When I separated my needs from His Commandments it was like a light in a previously dark room.

35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High.

Even though I would have strongly denied that I wanted anything at all from this person it simply was not true. I wanted respect, I wanted honesty, I wanted fairness; and I refused to love until I got what I thought were my due.

I thank God for the light of His Word.

I thank God for a higher reward, a reward beyond the capacity of this person to give. My reward for faithfulness to His Commandments is the joy of being a child of the Most High.

I seek His mercy for myself and those I love. I strive to extend the mercy of true forgiveness to all. I pray the help of the Holy Spirit in times of weakness.

May God Forever Be a Blessing in Your Life!!!